First I enter a $5 ten-seater tournament where I'm the short-stacked guy for most of the time but I survive at least. Until there are only four players left after an hour's play, and I'm one. I haven't won any big pots, when I do get good cards I mostly only rake in the blinds. I have 1400 in chips and AJ on hand as BB, the blinds are 200/400, the bases are loaded and we're fourth down on the ten yard line (what, me mix sports metaphors?). The flop is 37A which gives me top pair, but the bets make me have to go all-in. It's a make-or-break situation. Oopsie-daisee, the only remaining player shows that he has 77 on hand, giving him three of a kind. I'm beat! But wait, the turn is a jack giving me two pair and the possibility of a full house. But no, the river is a lousy four and I'm out at fourth place, not "in the money".
So, I enter a $2000 freeroll. Ha! On the very first hand I get 78 on hand in middle position and call, as do some others. The flop gives me a pair of eights, which is top pair and also a straight draw and I go along with it. Oh yeah, the turn gives me a straight, nine high but there's heavy betting from another player. I call (or raise, don't remember) and the river gives me straight, ten high. The only remaining other player in this hand goes all-in. Well, one does have to take one's chances. If I win it, I'll already have a good stack from the beginning. If I lose, I'm out early and don't have to trudge along for two-three hours. Call, all-in.
He lays down a flush, spades. I'm out at 1832nd place of 1888 entrants. Goodnight everybody, I'll be here all week. Try the veal. It's veally good.